We pour over the reels and storytimes of popular influencers as they stand on elegant, wrought-iron balconies, champagne in hand, watching the flurry of the Monaco Grand Prix. We have a window into the world of the rich and famous, the dates of celebrities, the private jets and the superyachts. We lay in bed on our phones, and for a bright second, we’re face to face with what life could actually be— what we dream about, what we truly imagine when we think of the words ‘ultimate success”. These potential futures have never been so easy to imagine; we just have to follow the hashtags in the right direction, and suddenly, our daydreams are playing out in front of us on those screens. Social media is the vehicle of modern Hypergamy; it’s what brings it directly to us— the idea that a life exists in a world that is so far from ordinary, that it involves the reality of a movie, rather than a mundane life.

Instagram and TikTok have created a whole new kind of visibility for lifestyles that embody the ideals and vision of modern Hypergamy. Influencers and everyday users alike share glimpses of luxury living, often showcasing relationships where one partner’s wealth and status play a key role— these are the power couples, the dream teams, and they’re constantly flashing across our screens. This visibility has a dual effect: it sets aspirational standards and normalizes the pursuit of hypergamous relationships. For instance, influencers often share their luxurious lifestyles, subtly convincing their followers to begin looking for partners who can provide a similar standard of living.

We see the heartbreaks, the ways that so many women date down— the horror stories of how much partners were able to endure before they left are often framed as comedy, but they provide a relatable mirror for ourselves. Searching the “Things My Exes Did and I Stayed” trend provides reels upon reels of jaw-dropping moments—from cheating ex-husbands to two-timing boyfriends, to screaming matches in line at a KFC. These stories are eye-openers. Other people have had low standards, and have endured the opposite of Hypergamy too. Getting to watch other people’s heartbreaks and failed relationships can often be a way to reflect on our own relationships; seeing that there is a universal need for raised standards, and that many have come to that conclusion independently, is a subtly Hypergamous message. Through every crying breakup vlog, there is the realization that self-respect and Hypergamy go hand in hand.